Quakers de Paris

Dear Friends,

The theme of this year’s Annual Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends in France was “Welcoming (expecting the unexpected)”.

Matthew 25:35: “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.”

This epistle is the result of collective discernment using the technique of building on our short spoken ministries, each ministry spinning off one or more words of a preceding ministry.

We gathered at the Jo&Joe youth hostel in Gentilly, a working-class neighbourhood a few steps from the new Quaker House in Paris. Some may have been surprised by the contrast between our silent worship and the throbbing music in the background, while others adapted more quickly: a wonderful opportunity to put the theme of this assembly into practice as soon as we arrived.

What is welcome? We were surprised by the diversity of the theme.

We discovered that the word “welcome” can take on different meanings.

There is a very profound spiritual practice in hospitality. The resident Friend at the Quaker House in Congénies reminded us that the spirit of worship can be present even in everyday tasks such as cooking. Every encounter is an invitation to be present. To welcome is to open oneself to others. An open mind, listening and patience are necessary to give a real welcome. Opening one’s door to others is opening the door to the presence of God in each of us. When we welcome others, we welcome the spirit of God within them.

Welcoming means never letting anyone feel excluded. We heard testimonies from our Friends who are seeking to establish a Quaker Centre for migrant women and children in Calais, as well as from our Friend Olo, who presented the work of the Community Support Centre in the Democratic Republic of Congo for women and children affected by the war that has been raging in his country for 30 years. These women and children are healing through sport and by forging bonds.

Yes, welcoming also means offering a place where people feel safe. We heard the report from the Safeguarding Committee. We discerned the importance of welcoming everyone, especially the most vulnerable, in safety.

After hearing from our Friends on the ground in Calais, the French Assembly discerned the need to support the Quaker Centre for Migrants in Calais.

Another Friend shared her testimony about disability, reminding us that welcoming can, unintentionally, be discriminatory.

Welcoming is a choice, it is not a question of financial means.

With each encounter, there is an opportunity to receive (with curiosity) by listening and responding with love, without taking refuge in “Quaker silence”. A silence behind which we can sometimes hide to escape the difficult choices we must make in our personal approach to welcoming others.

Can we and should we welcome everyone?

If it is the other person I must welcome, should I welcome them without any limits?

The limits I set help me to welcome others and protect myself, because diversity is inevitable. The path is not a straight line but a winding road that brings us back to ourselves.

Welcoming others is a process that allows us to get to know them without prejudice. Our places of worship are spaces that allow us to welcome the emotions of our Friends with kindness and respect.

We must try not to judge and practice listening even if we do not understand. Rejection causes suffering. We must welcome suffering in the world: that of migrants, physical victims and displaced persons. Welcoming people’s suffering means showing empathy, but we do not necessarily have to feel another person’s suffering to understand it. We do not necessarily have to resolve another person’s suffering in order to welcome them. Understanding another person’s suffering requires a great deal of love.

Love is paying attention to the other. Accepting others in their differences is a deep and powerful form of love. And love requires us to accept others and walk together on the path of life in search of peace.

Without trust, we could not welcome others, nor could we be welcomed ourselves.

Trust is not certainty, it is about allowing others to help us grow, and their differences are a source of richness.

What brings us together draws us into our spark of light. And it also encourages us to welcome others on the path, together.

Our young people have enjoyed being with us this year. They have brought us creativity and curiosity. They are our light.

The other who welcomes us can help us find a better path in life.

We are not the other; we become the other in the eyes and mind of another person.

Curiosity and power allow us to avoid remaining locked in dogma and to remain open.

The Friends (Quakers) are said to have no creed. And yet, I’d be tempted to give them one: “I doubt, therefore I act.” Most of the Friends I observe carry a kind of inner urgency. They are seeking answers. They are seekers. What does this creed mean? “I doubt”—but it almost sounds like “I believe.” Why do I believe, even when I’m not sure? Because I hear something deep within myself, something inviting me to be still, to discern the message that comes from the Light. And I listen. And I welcome it. In silence. Staying quiet is a tremendous challenge for many of our contemporaries. But it is a sine qua non condition. We must quiet our ego, silence the background noise of our thoughts.

Some might call this “prayer.” But it’s more about active listening. In silence. I try to hear—despite the inner noise—only those messages that might shed light on my path. And more than that, I believe everyone can perceive this Light within themselves. It’s not about hearing voices, or talking to them, like someone suffering from a mental illness. It’s about a deep spirituality, hidden within, revealed to each person—if they sincerely make the effort to seek it. In this process of seeking, doubt is ever-present. That’s why it’s so hard to listen to that inner voice that leads us toward the Light, which some might call God. The term “Light” is emblematic: it’s positive, above conflict and worldly concerns.

And the Friends’ worship sometimes becomes a kind of “magical” space. A gentle energy flows among those gathered. Sometimes, a Friend will stand up, feeling compelled to speak and share a “discovery” made during their inner search in worship (what we call “ministry”). These discoveries often resonate in the hearts and minds of others. When that happens, it’s incredible. It’s as if we open our eyes to something we had sensed before, but never truly understood until that moment. Our awareness opens to something familiar, yet now seen from a new perspective. And it feels new. The path toward the Light becomes clearer, less painful, less steep, lighter—with Friends gathered in worship. I feel the kindness around me and the shared intention to support one another in trying to catch the Light and reflect it into the world. We move from the inner to the outer.Ah, that outer world… The Friends I observe are not silent hermits hiding in their caves. They are global citizens, deeply attuned to current events, the sorrows and the joys of today’s world. This sometimes brings them moments of great sadness, even anger or bitterness—just like many of our fellow humans faced with illness, conflict, ecological crises, deprivation, torture, discrimination.

So what does the second part of the creed mean—“I act”? I act in worship, I act alone in my quiet reflection, I act with others when I share ministry, I act when I defend my beliefs, I act through every word and deed, in every moment. It’s both overwhelming and life-giving to think that the Light is what guides everything. For peace. For love. And it starts in everyday life, right here: At home, in the street, at the supermarket, with your neighbors, in your car, on the metro, at school, at work, in our communities. Everywhere. Whether it’s with someone close to us or a stranger asking for help—In everything, I try to move toward the Light. I doubt, therefore I act. Not easy. There are slip-ups—sometimes big ones. One Friend spoke of forgiveness. The path is long. Act anyway, and keep striving for the Light. Act with kindness, with the humility to accept criticism. Act continuously, and correct course when you’re wrong. Act—especially when the world seems upside down. Don’t give up. Every word, every gesture counts. The challenge is to maintain discernment, to find the path to the Light, to keep perspective—because I am sure of anything. I’m searching. A cult doesn’t search—it imposes a view. The Friends, it seems to me, are above all seekers. Will they adopt this creed? Just this once, maybe:

I doubt, therefore I act.

Anna Delille

Join our circle of silence: let us take action together for peace on Sunday, 21 September 2025, from 11 a.m. to 12 p.m. Place Joachim du BELLAY, PARIS 75001

Dear Maurice,

International relations are becoming much tenser. We can see it in Europe with the war in Ukraine and the recent involvement of North Korea, in the Middle East with the armed conflict around Israel against the backdrop of Iran, and finally in Asia with the tensions around Taiwan. I now fear a third global war, 80 years after the end of the Second. With this in mind, I think back to your article “Where do I stand between solidarity and witness for peace?” in which you relate a meeting of Quaker Friends in Germany, published in Lettre des amis of France in the summer of 2023. You explain the dilemma some people feel when faced with an aggressor country, and the need to disregard the commandment “Thou shalt not kill” (Dt 5:17). At the end of your article, you ask what the situation is with Friends in France. For my part, as a man of faith, and like the Quakers who preceded us, I am very attached to the Ten Commandments and the various recommendations of Jesus. To my mind, they are much more than moral guidelines or good rules for living together. They are doors that open onto Life. They are reason itself. You describe this dilemma as follows: “Here, as in all situations, there is incompatibility between the ambition to conform to an attitude that is considered right or desirable and the impossibility of really living that attitude as soon as it requires a sacrifice of ourselves or of others”. You’ve put your finger where it hurts. Jesus tells us: “But I tell you not to resist the wicked. If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone wants to accuse you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak too. If anyone forces you to walk a mile, walk two with him” (Mt 5:39-41). This is not an invitation to become a victim, but neither is it an invitation to become an aggressor; it is an invitation to find a third way. I was talking to some Catholic friends about this, and one of them said, “You have to be creative!” He found the right words. I’m thinking of the period between the wars, when a large-scale peace movement emerged with the slogan “Never again!” This movement, based on emotion, collapsed like a house of cards. As a result, the First World War claimed 15 million lives and the Second World War claimed 55 million, with all its attendant horrors, fear and darkness. Based on this unfortunate experience, I am convinced that we must prevent future calamities and annihilate those that already exist by seeking this third way. To give peace this foundation of reason.

What do you think, dear friend?

Dominique Boillaud (France)

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Dear Dominique,

Thank you for getting to the heart of the matter by noting the extent to which the global situation is deteriorating, with no apparent possibility of convincing the warring parties to back down, let alone listen to reason. I agree with you that it is absolutely necessary to find a way, even if it is only the drop of water that the hummingbird carries in its beak to help put out the fire, to make the voice of “reason from the heart” heard by all those who, blinded by the vanity and irrationality of their identification with nationalist chimeras, lose themselves in their orgy of destructive violence. How many victims, how much destruction of resources and infrastructure, how many destroyed towns and mined fields must we continue to deplore before the ammunition reserves are exhausted, or before the belligerents face up to the fact that all their violence leads only to their own extinction? But what might this third way be, this “bedrock of reason” as you call it? As for the attitude needed to walk this path, I absolutely adhere to the Jesuianic source you outline. I can think of no other attitude that can give us the strength we need to withstand what is happening around us and perhaps even with us. In spite of everything, we must, as George Fox encourages us to do, go out into the world (almost rather than in the world) with joy and address (even before responding) that which is of God in every human being we meet, with the unshakeable confidence that comes from the certainty of bearing witness to Life whatever happens. It’s a bit like what I imagine myself to be when Jesus says: “You will have tribulations in the world; but take courage, I have overcome the world”. For me, overcoming the world means transcending the world within oneself, and therefore knowing that we are in and of (Eternal?) Life, even if we remain in and of the world. So to be reasonable is to recognise that Life wants to manifest itself in everything that lives, and therefore to respect Life in all its forms instead of defining ourselves by intellectual concepts emanating from the pursuit of selfish goals and supported by arbitrary justifications devoid of common sense and, what’s more, of compassion. If I don’t agree to die to the world, I can’t be “born to Life”. In my opinion, taking the third path, the path of non-violence, is only possible on this condition. As I said in my 1993 conference, by making the unconditional choice of non-violence I must shoulder the mourning of all the victims that the violence of the other will make. This is the first step in a non-violent attitude. The second step will consist of preparing, establishing and training civil and civic defence attitudes supported by appropriate structures and technical means. I have just read an inspiring leaflet published in Germany by the Association for Civil Defence, presenting a typical dialogue between a pacifist and a sceptic, in which is outlined how it is possible for the victims of an armed invasion to defend themselves concretely without weapons and without committing violence against the aggressors.

Maurice de Coulon (Germany)

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Dear Maurice,

Thank you for your reply and for the short text by Majken Jul Sørensen, who argues that armed defence against an armed aggressor only delays peace and a resolution of the conflict. I think of Gandhi’s words: “It is not the enemy you have to fight, but the enemy’s mistake, the mistake your neighbour makes when he thinks he is your enemy. Make an ally of your enemy against his error”. This is a statement full of the reasoning that Jesus gave above. But all these recommendations cannot be applied in the same way as a law or a belief. This foundation of reason needs to be metabolised, with fortitude, by experience –experience of God in ourselves and in others, of course, but also experience of the evils that devastate humanity. You do a wonderful job of outlining the first steps that can be taken in this third way: by working hard on ourselves to reach out to others. I’ve noticed that ordinary Ukrainians and Russians don’t talk to each other. Worse still, within the same family, separated by the border, one thinks the other is telling lies. The same goes for other conflicts. We need to encourage links between ordinary people and give everyone, without exception, their divine dimension. As long as people do not love each other, we will pay the price. I think we’re both taking a few steps along the road to this third way. Let’s hope that others will continue to think along these lines and gradually make this path practicable.

Dominique Boillaud

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Dear Dominique,

Yes, the whole world is paying the price for the fact that human beings do not love each other. But what is the reason for this inability to love one another? Is it just their immaturity, their lack of spiritual independence, the lack of a personality of their own? Or is it perhaps their existential impossibility of overcoming or sublimating their dual nature as animals endowed with reflexive consciousness? Or rather, is it their inability to free themselves from mimetic rivalry in their desire to appropriate the things, both material and ideal, with which they identify? I think that as long as people do not think and feel within themselves that “the other is themselves”, they will not be able to truly love others and will therefore remain capable of doing violence to them, however close or far they may be. Acknowledging that “the other is oneself” implies an act of awareness on the part of man, from which emanates the faculty of reasoning himself, at the moment when his emotional nature and instinctive mimicry want to take over and push him irremediably towards an act of destructive violence. So in my opinion, the only way to establish peace in the world is to redouble our efforts to raise the awareness of man and society, and to train them to control their belligerent impulses, through their reason, having recognised and internalised that “the other is oneself!”

Maurice de Coulon

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